New Year's Eve Diaries
New Years 2009
The warm vodka that ONE’s brother bought us led to me and TWO making out all night. We declared our love to each other before falling asleep on an air mattress in a hallway. I woke up with my first hangover ever, feeling a deep regret for letting things getting out of control. ONE told me that everyone else had fun but TWO and I were annoying, so we weren’t invited next time.
New Years 2010
THREE’s parents were in GAMBLING TOWN so we were allowed to spend the night in her luxurious finished basement. We stayed out with THE BOYS until the ball dropped and then came home and watched a movie that everyone fell asleep to. I came out to THREE and FOUR with ONE and TWO looking on, encouraging and proud in the morning. No one cared. We ate bagels and laughed at what TWO said in her sleep last night.
New Years 2011
We drove to OTHER TOWN for Bubble Tea, texting everyone we knew, frantically to figure out a plan. FOUR and FIVE’s siblings had purchased quite a few handles, but we had no where to drink them. Eventaully, FOUR’s parents relented. We got wasted in their basement, FOUR’s Mom came downstairs and and put her arm around me. One of THE BOYS told me how lucky I was — I laughed; he had no idea how badly I wanted him.
New Years 2012
I didn’t talk to most of the NUMBERS or THE BOYS anymore but after a party with A and B got broken up, ONE through FIVE invited A, B, and me over to their apartment on SUBURBAN COLLEGE. B left to go to a party in town, leaving A and I to dance in the corner and sip on Twisted Tea. We left without saying goodbye, finding ourselves lost in the woods behind on-campus housing, fighting off a deer with A’s heeled booties.
New Years 2013
FOUR, TWO, TWO’s Girlfriend, and I drove up to my empty apartment in ERUDITE CITY via my OLD CAR. My apartment was freezing cold, it snowed the whole time, and no one brought boots.
New Years 2014
My FAMILY AT THE TIME drove into a desolate and unfamiliar Brooklyn to see Billy Joel at the Barclays Center. We ate somewhere south of Prospect Park — bad Italian food, a child asleep on a couch the entire time.
New Years 2015
LOVE #1 drove to RURAL TOWN where my FAMILY AT THE TIME had relocated. When he got there he realized he forgot his wallet. We drove back to NATIONS CAPITAL to get it, stopping for Burger King along the way. FAMILY AT THE TIME waited up for us, a beautiful display of finger foods going untouched.
New Years 2016
In ERUDITE CITY C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, and many other members of THAT GROUP AT THE TIME gathered for the first of two New Years parties in our apartment. We drank so much Veuve that a few of us fell asleep with our clothing on. D arrived on a motorcycle and led (those of us not asleep in our clothing) us to write the things we would leave behind on a piece of paper, which we burned in the backyard, laughing deviously.
New Years 2017
Fuck Donald Trump! we yelled, our naïve fury propelling us through the night. E and I smoked cigars all night, our fury and outrage finding an unresolved path towards each other. In the morning, I woke up with tonsilitis and flew to CALIFORNIA to retrieve my car.
New Years 2018
Three house parties on LOVE #2’s block. NATIONS CAPITAL UNIVERSITY sorority sisters invited me to their formal. I told LOVE #2 that his high school best friend was sexy. He agreed. In the morning, I looked at the pictures between me and LOVE #2. I gripped to him tightly. He stood up straight, beaming happily towards the camera. Both of us unaware of how I had latched on.
New Years 2019
We assembled in faux fur at Wu’s Wonton King. It was pouring rain, so after the meal we dashed between awnings, our faux fur draped over our heads. We found our way to an uptown train towards Koreatown where we sang songs like Jolene and The Only Living Boy in New York in a private room with lazers and fog machines. G left shortly before midnight, the rest of us making our way back to Bed-Stuy where we ate dollar slices and watched the ball drop.
New Years 2020
K and I flew to EUROPEAN COUNTRY to see L. Something seemed afoot, the air wasn’t quite right, we all acted erratic. I threw up in someone’s houseplant and smoked non-stop. From atop Calton Hill, I received a text message from my Mom while I peed away from other spectators. Something has to change, I told myself.
New Years 2021
From beneath my covers, I tweeted 2021 is the year I get better at Skateboarding and watch Sailor Moon.
New Years 2022
In my Bed-Stuy apartment, I drank wine alone and watched Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen take shots. Everyone was out of town or had PANDEMIC ILLNESS. Just after midnight, I went into the street and wished strangers a Happy New Year while we marveled at the fireworks that were a little too close for comfort.
New Years 2023
I felt self-conscious in a long sleeve polo that I thought was too tight all night until I woke up and reviewed the photos and realized that my muscles looked good. I took the train home in the morning, NEW FAMILY waiting for me to go to the mall for brunch. I was hungover but not in the way that made me hate myself complete. I laughed so hard and ate food in a way I hadn’t been able to for a very long time. I think I’ll stay here for a while I thought to myself.
New Years 2024
Would my life fade into a series of unremarkable New Years celebrations, or was this simply an off year? The money I had set aside to go to QUIET BEACH TOWN was now to be used to LOUDER BEACH TOWN in a few weeks. New Years is my favorite holiday, I said to no one, which was only half true because Halloween is my favorite holiday.
I felt stuck once again, but knew that the only thing that would get me unstuck was time.